Tanglewood

At the end of my rope, after my home burned down and getting fired from my job, I finally found a place that I could afford until my unemployment benefits ran out. It was going to be hard.
My wife and I had just the year before gotten back together. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to because of our past. And presently I didn’t trust her because she had admitted to accidentally setting our home ablaze. I suspected her anyway because she had been a very bad cocaine addict long ago and certain actions of hers made me think she’d returned to her old ways. She vehemently denied this suspicion of mine yet I remained leery.
The place I had finally found within my price range was in an unkempt, old trailer park. Luckily I had procured the first of twenty or more of the mobile homes, the only one that had a decent yard and deck built onto the front. This hid the unsightly slums that went beyond and down the dirt rutted road. Litter abounded and old rusted cars were scattered about. I placed this out of mind and pulled into the driveway. Jill, my wife, looked at me in bewilderment. She didn’t say a word because she knew this was all we could afford. The look meant, I hope this can work. She forced a half smile and put her head on my shoulder.
“We’ll get it back together, baby. We can make it.” She said.
I wasn’t so sure.
Several cars came in and out of the park at first and then it seemed to be a steady stream of traffic. In and out they came, many not slowing for the speed bump that was right at our driveway. I sat back in my seat. “of course,” I said. “A drug area. Perfect.”
At this time, one of the cars pulled in behind us.
“Must be Tony,” I said. “The manager of this dump.”
The old, beat up Cadillac came to a stop beside my little Geo Metro and a tall, lanky black man got out. He seemed to scowl at us before he smiled and the wife and I got out to meet him.
After looking around for a bit and noticing that it wasn’t really all that bad inside. The furniture was actually new and still had the
plastic wrappings. Other than a thin layer of dust on everything, it was nice indeed. Even had a small television.
“Even got free cable.” Said Tony. “Everything goes with the rent but we gonna need a deposit you know.”
“Yes, we worked it out on the phone with the owner and we’ll take it.” I said without consulting my wife at all. She was busy looking out the rear kitchen window.
“Who’s the little girl out there?” Asked Jill.
Tony walked behind and looked, “Oh that’s your neighbor. Pretty good peoples I guess.” He said.
I looked around and had to wonder how such a trashy area could have such nice things in it. The one thing that concerned me was the buckshot holes through the front door. Someone had fired a shotgun from the outside. The holes were level with my head.
Tony caught me looking at it and said, “Oh that’s a door from another… trailer. Thisen got broke.”
“So the pipes and wiring are all good? Everything is in order?” Jill asked.
“Oh yeah, yeah, and if you do have any problems, I live down in 4-D. Here’s my card, just gimme a ring.” Tony replied. And with that he left, telling us that the owner would be here in the morning to get the rent and deposit. (The last bit of money I had in the world)
Tony was overly relieved to be done here and literally ran out without a goodbye or ‘nice to meet you’ so my wife and I went back to the motel where we were staying to get our clothes. The only thing we owned other than my tiny sub compact.

When we returned a couple hours later with the hatch back filled to capacity , there were about 4 or 5 other cars turning in to the park with us. Two others drove out, one almost side swiping us at our driveway.
“Jesus,” said Jill, “What is all this? Family reunion?”

I let out a disappointed grunt and she apologized. “Welcome to Tanglewood.” I said, handing her a suitcase. She replied with a ‘hmph’ and snatched it from me with a sexy smile.
We continued in and out of the trailer carrying our belongings. Cars continued pouring in and out as we did. This place was absolutely on fire. Loud, booming thuds filled the air. Angry shouts were heard from down the hill. A car pealing out. It was all unnerving as hell.
“Somebody’s making some money, huh’ I asked with a joking nudge.
“Greg. You know that’s not funny, I can’t be around drugs. After what I did, I swore I’d never touch the stuff again.”
“Baby, this is why the place was so cheap. We just need to keep to ourselves. I’m here for you.’ I said, trying to reassure her.
She buried her face in my chest and sobbed, ‘I burned down our house. Why don’t you hate me?”
“I’ll never hate you, Sweetcheeks. I hate what’s happened. I hate that we lost everything. But I love you enough to know you’ve learned a very harsh lesson. I trust you.” I said.
Now we’d finished bringing in our things and plugged in the television. We were pleased to see that there was indeed free cable. So we pealed the plastic from the couch, dusted a bit, ran the vacuum and found that this could really be livable. Comfortable.
That is if it weren’t for my broken leg. Broken at the knee and ankle, I had to manage all of this with a heavy cast and crutches. If not for the percocet, there’s no way I could have done any of it. I had been taking them for about three weeks now and my tolerance level had risen greatly. I had increased the dose on my own and meant to get the doctor to up the milligram but I had been so busy here lately that I simply hadn’t gotten around to it. And I didn’t realize the bottle was going down so quickly until later.
As we relaxed, the drone of outside drug traffic seemed to finally slow and we were both close to sleep when someone knocked at the door. Jill got up quickly and sprayed some air wick. (She had just smoked a joint) And I reluctantly went to the door and opened.
I switched on the porch light and there stood a huge woman with dirty clothes and oily, matted hair. “Sorry to bother you,” she said in a nervous, husky voice. “We live next door and wanted to say hi.” Behind her stood a little girl of no more than five years old, completely hidden there behind the woman’s mammoth leg.
“I’m Billie and this is Haylee.” She said, taking the little one by the arm and pulling her forward.
“Well!” I said, trying to be cheerful. “How old are you?”
Jill joined me and went to one knee, ”I saw you playing in your yard.” She said, “Your probably five, right?”
Little Haylee shied away at first but not towards her mother. She looked as though she wanted to run out into the yard but then turned to Jill’s angelic face and went squeamishly to her.
“Awwww.” Jill’s face was filled with tenderness, her reddened eyes bright and cheerful. “Is that your dolly?” she asked.
Haylee offered her doll lovingly to Jill. “Her name is Nimble.” Haylee informed us. She looked frightened when her mother spoke, her body shook at the sound of her voice, “She’ll be six in January.” A bit too loudly. We all just looked at her for an awkward moment.
Haylee broke the silence, “I’m five.” She said. “This many.” Counting out one year at a time on her dirty fingers.
As pretty as the little girl was, her hair was just as much of a mess as her mother’s. I felt a sadness overcome me at the sight of her. Face dirty as hell. She had simpy not been given a bath in quite a while. And her clothes were torn, shoes tattered, simply a mess.
I could tell that Jill was thinking the exact same thing. However the child carried on about this and that. Her dog, Bandit, all of her toys and such. As we listened to her carry on Billie spoke over her, again much too loudly.
“I hope we didn’t bother you.” She barked. “Do you have a phone I can use? I have to… call the hospital to check on my momma.”
“We don’t have a cell phone anymore.” Said Jill, “Haven’t hooked the land line yet. But there may be service. Come on in, we can check.”
I sat down at the kitchen table while the women went into the back room. Haylee sat at the other end. We both watched the cars come in and out. Some much too fast. Others simply reckless.
There was only one way in and one way out of Tanglewood, so every vehicle had to pass by our place twice. I noticed Haylee standing now, just behind me. “You see that big truck?” she asked in a whisper.
“Yes. I saw that.” I said a bit puzzled. Haylee looked me in the eye and spoke low, “They are bad. They do bad things to me and mommy.” She said.
Now a fear hit me. A new fear of impending doom it seemed. That’s when Billie thundered in giving Haylee a mean look. “Lets go girl, they’re here. I just saw them go down.”
Haylee looked at me with a pleading stare and my leg began to pound with pain as did my heart. I really felt afraid for the girl.
Billie snatched her by the arm much too harshly and rushed her out. Jill and I looked each other in the eyes with alarm.
“Jesus Christ.” Said Jill. “What the hell is everybody’s hurry around here?”
I switched out the light and led her to the back window looking out at Billie’s broken down trailer. We watched in shock as she shoved the girl in and went running, very quickly for her size and obese weight, down the hill.
Jill clutched my arm. “Oh my God. I hope there’s somebody in there with her.” She said, gripping me tightly.
“Get my crutches.” I said, “We’re going to go see.”

The April night was crisp and cool. We stood on the porch for a minute planning what to say when we heard a car stop in front of Billie’s trailer. We went to the edge of ours and both peered around to see what was going on.
It was that big black SUV Haylee was telling me about.
Now I had to take another pill. My leg was exploding with pain and my nerves were at their peak.
“We have to do something.” I said, then I explained what Haylee had told me in the kitchen earlier.
“Well we can’t just go grab her. What do we do?” Jill asked.
“The only thing we can do is try.” I said. “Come on.”
We walked slowly around and to Billie’s door. We stood there a minute listening in.
“You know what to do when you want some more.” Came a voice of a black man. “Get her ready in the morning.” Then the door opened in front of us and a gigantic man stood there looking down at us. “What you want?” He said discourteously.
“We have to tell Billie our phone works. She needed it earlier.”
So the guy bumps us rudely out of his way and gets in the Escalade and pulls out slowly. We turned our attention to the matter at hand.
Haylee sat on the couch eating a slice of white bread. She smiled warmly at us. “Hey.” She said.
“Hey, Haylee.” Said Jill, “Where’s your momma?”
“She went back there.” Pointing with the half eaten bread.
We both walked in and quickly choked on the smoke in the room. The ashtray actually blazed red from all of the ducks burning. Jill took the tray to the sink and poured a bit of water on it. Once extinguished, she dumped the putrid black mess in the overfilled trash can. Turning now to Haylee, “Girl, what is your mother doing?” but waited for no answer. Jill went swiftly to the back room and banged on the door. I sat beside Haylee. “Are you ok?” I asked, “They didn’t hurt you did they?”
She looked somehow amused. I figured she finally realized that someone actually cared about her in this world.
“No, but they told mommy to have me ready in the morning.”
“I heard him say that. What are they talking about. Ready for what?” I asked dumbfounded. The girl looked at me as though I couldn’t buy a clue. And fact was that I couldn’t.
I could hear Jill at the rear of the trailer. She was shouting now.
“I need to talk to you! Something’s wrong with Haylee!”
Billie said something but I couldn’t understand what. Jill came to me at this time and told me, “Billie said to take Haylee home with us. She’s… Messed up.” So without a word I took the little girl in my arms and carried her over to our place.

Haylee was now safely home with us. I sat back at the kitchen table and she took the same seat she had prior. She seemed to be reasonably contented. She actually smiled and her dimples in fact cracked the dirt on her face. It was sad. But she was safe here.
Jill was searching her clothes for something for the girl to wear but of course it was all much too large, but anything was better than what she had on. So she returned to the kitchen with a big towel and one of my t-shirts and took Haylee to the bathroom.
I could hear them in there running the water and talking about bubbles. They laughed and that brought a smile to my face despite the fact that my leg was now killing me. I had over done it today. I should of known better but with the pain numbed by the drug, I was able to cause much harm and now I felt it.
I went in the living room and sat, propping the heavy cast on the coffee table. I sat and listened to them and was taken back eighteen years in that very moment. Jill obviously found the bubbles because the two girls squealed with delight as the water splashed about.
I remembered so clearly this very felling as was overwhelmed with recollections of my own daughter. Blowing handfuls of Mr. Bubbles at her mother, laughing and pleased.
A tear streamed down my face.
Jill’s voice went childlike along with Haylee and I could tell that my wife was reliving some of the times with our own.
We both missed and longed for those days.
But this was Happiness Overload instead of tears of sorrow.
They laughed and I laughed and…
There was a silence. I wiped my face with my arm hairs as I heard Jill’s voice grow stern and, was that Haylee crying now?
Then Jill came from the bathroom into the livingroom with me. Her face now hardened and… Frightful.
“I can’t believe this.” She said, sitting beside me on the couch,
“Her private area…” she looked me hard in the face. And neither of us could speak a word.

Haylee sat on a clean beach towel in an oversized t-shirt and socks that almost swallowed her knees. Jill sat behind her on the couch, gently brushing the girl’s hair.
“This is bubblegum!” Jill exclaimed. “I’m going to have to cut
this out.” Haylee pulled away , “Please don’t cut me!” she cried.
Jill laughed, “No, Baby girl, it won’t hurt a bit. Has your hair ever been cut?”
The little girl was crying. “I don’t know! Promise it won’t hurt.”
“I triple dimple pinky promise.” Jill said. But the girl reacted with even more confusion. So Jill demonstrated the time honored tradition. “Pinky promise.” Said Haylee, “I like that.”
And so Jill retrieved the scissors and clipped away. . Haylee giggled with delight. And a bit later the brush ran freely through the girl’ hair. And she liked it.
“Nobody ever fixed my hair before. Mommy says she likes it curly but it was… messy.” Said Haylee with a pout.
“Well it looks so much better now. And don’t you feel nice and clean?” Jill asked her.
“Yes I do.” The girl stated proudly as she sat up, shoulders back, “I feel nice and keen.” They both laughed.

That night the two girls slept together in our bedroom and I on the couch. My leg ached so badly and sleep was not an option so I got up, swallowed three percocet and wet out on the porch to breathe the cool night air. About three in the morning now, the traffic was still fairly steady.
As the drug took hold of me, I noticed someone walking into the park. Obviously a female from the sway of her gait. When her face became visible in the bright yellow streetlamp light, I had to squint to be sure. It was one of Jill’s old friends from the cocaine years. It was her to be true, however time (and dope) had been more than a little cruel to her through the years. I was about to think of her name as disappointment overwhelmed me. That’s when she noticed me standing there. She looked, squinted at me and finally made the connection. Much to my dismay.
“Greg!” she shouted. As if it were mid day. “I know that ain’t Greg Martin.” Walking up to me now. “What are you doing way out here. Or should I ask?”
“We live here.” I said, trying to show my dislike for her.
“I thought you didn’t do that.” She said. And there was a rather awkward silence before I could respond.
“I don’t… do that. We, don’t do that.” Anger boiling in me.
“Then…Jill’s not with you?” she asked cocking her head.
“Look… Melissa. Me and Jill live here and we don’t ‘do that’ and we don’t want any of ‘that’ around us.” I informed her.
She turned to walk away saying, “You’re in the wrong place.”
Back about ten years ago Melissa was a very pretty girl from a well to do family. She could have had anything she wanted. Jill knew several girls like that. But Melissa had the most promise. Promise I wish I had a fraction of. Thrown all away for crack. I shook my head and went back in, bolting the door.
I saw that spooky yellow light through the buckshot holes in my front door. And I just wanted to let this day finally end. That’s when I felt Jill against my back, “You ok baby?” she asked.
I turned to her and she handed me a sheet and blanket. With a smile she said softly. “You go ahead in the morning with your plans. I’ll worry about everything else then. Get some sleep.”
I accepted her gift and with a kiss we parted ways and slept.
All night long.

The next morning I awoke to the all too familiar pain throbbing in my leg, only now it was from the end of my toes, all the way up to the hip. I hobbled up with all my might, managing to gain control of my crutches. I steadied myself with a deep sigh and fought my pockets for my pills. Popping three, I made my way to the bedroom and peeked in on the girls.
I kissed my wife on the forehead and couldn’t tell which of them looked cuter. Jill’s face was clear and refreshing to look at. Haylee, with her face clean and hair neatly about the pillow made me think of how much beauty was actually left in the world. I lowered the shade to darken the room and went into the kitchen to have a bite to eat.
After straightening up a bit, I went outside into the spring morning sun that felt good. I had to find a job. Nothing else could matter today. I had my newspaper with the circled want ads, my keys and pills. And was about to make my way from the porch when the voice came. “Mornin’ neighbor!” said the guy leaning on my car. Seeing him at first, I knew it was JJ Evans. Skinny black guy with a Purple flop hat. Smiling wide.
“Good morning.” I said, selecting my car key.

“I hate to bother you,” he said cheerfully, “but my girl needs a ride down the road. I’ll pay you, oh man I’m Earl, I live down in 6-F.”
“Ok.. Earl. My name’s Greg but I’m just about to go job hunting. Ain’t coming back any time soon.” I informed him.
Earl kicked the dust easily with his expensive Nikes. Looking very disappointed he said, “Just drop her off down the street for me, man. Just a couple miles. She don’t need to come back.”
Fishing in his baggy pant’s pocket, he came out with a roll of cash. Pealing through hundreds to get to a twenty, he selected the bill and offered it to me. “Ok?” he asked.
As bad as I hated it, fact was I needed the money. So I accepted the cash saying, “6-F. I guess that’s on the right.”
“Down the hill, forth house on the left.” He said with an oversized smile. He walked away leaving the park and waving to a waiting car at the main road. It was a black 4 door with antennas. There is no mistaking a cop car. He ran to it and jumped in the back. As they drove away, I got in my car and drove down into the trailer park to 6-F.
First I noticed Billie’s trailer. In the daylight it was almost unbearable to look at. There were empty 40 ounce bottles scattered all around a sad and broken swing set. Through the rust and chipped paint, I could just make out a Little Mermaid scene. Even Ariel looked depressed here and who wouldn’t. I drove slowly past to the next. Trailer 3-C was slightly better and looked like someone at least tried to pick up a bit but then I noticed the place was riddled with bullet holes and the main window was shattered. Then I noticed a rear curtain moved on the inside and someone peeking out. I had moved to the Twilight Zone. Plain and simple
When I reached Earl’s place I didn’t have to toot my horn or get out, a girl ran out. Apparently half dressed, especially for the cool morning. But be as it was, she jumped right in the passenger side.
“Hey, I’m Rose. Earl told me you were coming.” She said, tugging at her miniskirt to cover at least her private areas.
She was white. I mean really white, with red hair and she smelled of perfume only smelt in strip bars. I tried not to look at her because I was married. Yet it was rather difficult. She looked at me and giggled. She no doubt got off on messing with men’s minds.
“You can take a picture if you want.” She said convincingly.
I drove and looked straight ahead, saying, “So… Where to?”
She pointed me along and then began bouncing up and down excitedly, “There! There! There!” she said, rolling down the window and quickly rolling it up as I pulled into the store she was so excitedly indicating.
“Carlose!” she yelled and when the car stopped she bounded out toward an Elcamino. Her ass was completely exposed when she got out running commando, tugging to cover herself, she was in the car and gone just as quickly as that. I shook my head and drove on.
The day was most frustrating. I went from place to place. Factories, retail outlets, gas stations, the unemployment office. Every person I talked to gave me negative input. It was all most disconcerting. It had me feeling low and sorry for myself and after stopping by the Piggly Wiggly for a beer and a couple of frozen dinners, I drove home.
Once in my driveway, a strange feeling of dread and anxiety filled me and my leg began throbbing with pain. I quickly took three more pills and pulled myself out of the car and up to my front door.
It was locked.


*When Jill Awoke that morning, Haylee was practically on top of her. The little girl’s arms were stretched out in a baby bear hug as though she’d never slept in her life. Jill gently moved her causing a slight stir and got up to get dressed. Standing over the girl, Jill smiled wide and thought of her own daughter, Renee. Where had she gone? What could have happened to her?
When Renee had turned eighteen, she had simply run off with the first boy she met. And what a boy it was. Aaron Carter. 20 years old. Rotten teeth. On social security disability because of mental problems and a record a mile long. But they were in love.

Yet that was neither here nor now and at this moment, there was a little angel that needed protection sleeping peacefully before her.
Jill sat beside her and tenderly awakened the child. “Hey, sweetypie. Wakie wakie.” Shaking her arm gently.
Haylee’s eyes were barely unlocked and she smiled.
“I don’t want to go home.” She said as the beam faded.
Then Jill remembered the gesture from the night before.
“Have her ready in the morning” She remembered hearing.
And with what Greg had told her about what Haylee had told him. Jill was filled with multiple emotions. Mostly anger.
“Would you like some pancakes? I was going to feed you last night but you fell asleep on me. How about some French toast?”
“I’m so hungry.” Said Haylee.
“Well you sit right there little lady, and I’ll give you some good food. Does that sound good?” Asked Jill.
“That sounds great!” the little one responded. And with that the pans were located and breakfast was underway. Haylee anxiously awaited this mysterious ‘French Toast’ and smiled to herself if for only a moment, she was contented.
Jill was happily humming a song in the kitchen. Dipping the bread in eggs and cinnamon, she placed them lovingly into the hot butter. Sizzle in the pan, sweet song hummed, loud, rude beating at the door.
All happy thoughts were intruded upon with the pounding thuds of someone’s incessant knocking.
So Jill went to the door and gave a rather rude, “Who is it?” and saw through the bullet holes that it was big. It was Billie. It was bad. Jill went to the kitchen window and saw the Escalade from the night before. She had no choice but to open the door.
There stood the woman she’d met last night, only in the sunlight here and now, it couldn’t be. This thing was not the same person. Jill looked for a minute before speaking. “Billie?”
The Billie thing stood, looming. Swaying. A line of spittle escaped it’s mouth and streamed to it’s shirt.
The skin tone took an unnatural green tint and Jill had to look away when it spoke, “Where. Is she?”
Jill looked beyond the thing to the Escalade. The engine was running but the tint was so black it reflected the outside.
“We, uh. I was about to fix breakfast for us.” Jill said.
Billie ignored her and sluggishly pushed her way in.
Jill made a feeble attempt to stop her and followed her in.

In the main bedroom, Haylee stood on the bed looking out at the big black truck. Her facial expression was beyond terrified.
Tears streamed down her face and her body trembled uncontrollably.
She looked from the truck to the other window in the bedroom and back again several times. A squeal escaped her and both hands automatically clasped her mouth. She knew she had to disappear really fast if she didn’t want the bad men to get her.
First thing’s first, she thought. Clothes! She wore only one of the man’s big t-shirts and the lady’s socks sagged on her feet.
She remembered the lady, Jill was her name, had put her clothes in the wash after she saw the privates. Jillwas really mad about that.
Then Haylee heard her mother yelling in the other room and the little girl froze solid.
Now now now now! Her mind screamed. Haylee opened the far window facing away from the big truck and forced herself to move. She looked over her shoulder to her mother’s voice then she heard a loud crash and she forced herself to move. And move she did.

In the living room where the Billie thing had intruded, Jill
was not about to hand that child over to her in this condition.
“Now listen Billie,” She started, “Haylee is fine, she just…”
Billie quite simply shoved Jill out of the way and into the television stand. The TV crashed into the floor with an explosion of glass and sparks. Jill was cut on the arm rather deeply in the process but she paid no mind. She sprang to her feet and seized Billie’s huge arm. “You stop it now!” Jill screamed but the giant woman-thing was unfazed.
Jill ran to the phone and snatched it up hitting 9-1-1 frantically and 9-1-1 again, listening, “Fuck!” she shouted. The phone service still hadn’t been installed. She flung the phone away and ran back to Billie, crying now, “Billie, no! Don’t take her right now, please!” she cried, reaching the bedroom they both stood in amazement. The rear window was standing open and Haylee was nowhere to be seen.
Billie tore into the bedroom like a wild bull, Flinging the bed aside and ripping the flimsy closet door from it’s hinges.
That’s when the big black guy from the night before walked into the room. “Where she at?” he asked slow and deep.
“She was right there!” Jill squawked and seeing the bed strewn to the side, pointing, “Right There!”
The black man snatched Billie by her long, matted hair and yanked her from the room. Her eyes met Jill’s and the fear exchanged was unspeakable. Then with his cell phone in the other hand, Jill heard him say, “The bitch lost the kid, we about to go find her.”
And just as quickly as that, the Escalade was backing out of the driveway. Jill stood outside the door for a moment, asking herself, ‘what the hell exactly just happened here.’ Finally, gathering her wits she called out, “Haylee!” then she locked the door and looked around the trailer and down into the ghetto trailer park. “Haylee!”
She heard a strange, yet familiar voice call to her from down the hill, “Hey girl! Hey Jill!”
Jill looked and looked again. Was this Melissa? From Oaktown?
As soon as the face/name recognition was registered, the stress of everything hit at once. Jill had to take a dump. She realized now the reason was the remembrance. The cocaine.
But she pulled Haylee to the front of her thoughts and dismissed the others completely.
“Haylee! They’re gone baby!” she called out, walking down the hill toward Melissa’s voice.
Melissa ran up to her old ‘friend’ and gave her a big hug.

* “Shit!” I said as I tried the knob again, thinking, she knows that she has the only key in her pocketbook. So I knocked.
The trailer was eerily silent and I knocked again, “Jill! Open the damn door. My leg is about to give out here!”
Still nothing. It was beginning to get dark and there were no lights on inside.
Suddenly, the street lamp snapped on with a buzz and cast it’s gloomy yellow light around and at that moment a fear slammed my guts, causing me to shudder, which in turn caused my bad leg to falter.
I stumbled backwards from the porch, twisting my bad leg around. I felt the break at the knee snap open. My foot went to the side and I crashed into the dirt. I tried to scream out in pain but all I produced was a muffled howl and a pitiful, “Umph!”
The pain was now excruciating. And there I lay, biting my bottom lip and tasting blood before easing off. I began to cry. Sweat poured from my brow and I screamed out finally. “Jill! Help!”
She did not come.
I may have passed out. I have no idea how long I lay there.
The cars were in and out so quickly I knew no one could notice me so I yelled out for help. Over and over. It had to have been more than a couple of hours of this before finally,
“Yo my man. You I-iet?”
Now I knew I’d had it. About to be robbed of my rent money and my last twenty dollars in the world, then probably beaten to death for not having more.
Then I saw him in the gloom of yellow light. It was JJ from that morning. Earl, I think he called himself. His girl, that jumpy redhead was behind him, carefully eyeing each vehicle that came in to the park.
He helped me up to sit on the porch and looked me deep in my eyes, “So. You I-iet?” he repeated. “You need an ambulance?”
“I need to find my wife. She promised to always leave a note on the door. Aaah!” I pronounced my pain every second here. God it was bad. “maybe she’s next door,” I managed, “She had the kid over here.”
Earl tensed up and looked at the girl, “Rose,” he said, “Go get this man something.” Then to me, “She got the kid widder?”
He wasn’t so polite anymore. Pressing.
“I don’t know, ah shit. I haven’t seen her.” I said as I realized I had only one percocet left.
Yet another wave of panic overcame me. I’d taken far more pills than prescribed and no way would the doctor call in more so soon. The pain was overwhelming.
“Do you smell something burning?” Earl asked as he went to the front door. “Yeah, it’s coming from in there.” He said.
“Fuck, man! Kick it in, I don’t know!” I said in a painful shock.
And he did.
Smoke flowed from within and I somehow rose up and steadying myself with my hands, I hopped in behind Earl.
“Jill!” I shouted into the empty trailer.
Then I saw the mess. The TV smashed to bits, phone shattered, and… blood.
“Oh shit, man! Call the law!” I shouted.
Earl quickly pulled his cell phone from his pocket as I made my way to the back room. Following the drops to see a small pool and the room ransacked.
“Jill!” I shouted again to no one. I could hear Earl in the kitchen.
“Tanglewood trailer park in Ridgeway. Yeah. Yeah.”
I looked around in horror and wondered, what the hell exactly is going on in my life this time?
I stumbled to the kitchen where Earl was turning off the stove burner. Two pieces of blackened toast sizzled in a frying pan. Smoked out.
“It’s a wonder the place didn’t burn down.” He said and continued, “You know… I saw your old lady today. She was with that girl, uh… uh, Melissa? You know her?” He asked.
Then my heart sank into my stomach. Emotional pain momentarily overpowered the physical.
“What were they doing?” I asked cautiously.
“I don’t mean to say nothing, but… hey” he responded.
“Ok, Earl.” I said, “Lets hear it.”
And he told me.

I was quite simply, in shock. Earl tells me that my wife hooked up with one her old ‘crack buddies’ (he didn’t say it in a literal extent, but he told me), and at this very moment this is where she was. He goes on to inform me of other things. Unpleasant as they were, I had heard enough. I zoned him out completely.
The pain in my leg was too much to bear.
That’s when the redhead came in with a leather pouch, “What’s he need?” She asked Earl.
He went to the bag himself and retrieved a bag of powder.
I couldn’t resist, the pain. So I did it.
Red dumped a small pile on the table and handed me a straw. I snorted the entire amount, this causing my two guests to remark, “whoah!” and watched me intently.

I was engulfed. I felt weightless and happy. Happier than I’d ever been in my life, it seemed. A raw sexual urge took possession of me. I stood up and looked at the redhead. Everything echoed in my mind and I felt my heart pounding in my chest. That’s when I remember the laughter began. Echoing through my body, Earls voice sounded strange, “That’s the modified, baby.” He told me.
My love for my wife fought it’s way to the front of my thoughts. I had to find her so I walked. And painlessly floated, it seemed. Then I found myself in the bowels of the trailer park.
Things moved in the shadows. I remember thinking of the ‘Living Dead’ movies. There were bodies, people stumbling about all around. The traffic seemed to move in slow motion. Dealers in the roadway on both sides making sales. A scream rose up from one of the trailers. And angry voices shouted all around. I knew my mission, but the drug was already beginning to wear off and the pain was slowly returning to my leg. “Jill!” I shouted.
Then, oh the shame. I started looking around for Earl.

* Jill was on a mission. That’s what they called it back in the day, looking for drugs. But this time the mission mattered. Haylee mattered most. She thought only of this as Melissa spoke on.
“I really missed you girl, I was just…” Melissa was cut off.
“Have you seen a little girl?” Asked Jill.
“Yeah. I saw her. She’s in there with her momma.” But the trailer that Melissa indicated was down in the park. Not next door.
“Well you come with me,” said Jill, “I’m going to get her.”
So the two ladies walked down the hill to where Haylee was supposed to be. Jill pounded on the door. “Billie! Do you have Haylee in there! Come to this door or I’ll smash it in, I swear!”

Down here, standing outside one of the dilapidated trailers, the two ladies looked around. Melissa was not impressed in the least yet Jill was mortified. This was unlike anything she’d ever experienced. Jill banged once more and the door opened before them.
There was no one there so they simply walked in. Jill, with the I Mean Business look, and the other squeamishly peeking about. When their eyes adjusted to the darkness they saw what was going on. There on the couch sat four young girls. Young as in prepubescent. Jill’s jaw dropped and Melissa continued inside, walking to the rear of this messed up place.
Jill came closer to the girls on the couch. She looked at them with a feeling she’d never felt in all her 38 years. The most fearful thing she could imagine. She thought then of Haylee’s privates and it was all over with.
“What the fucking hell is going on in this place!” She demanded.
“Where are your parents?!” shouting to the four girls at once. Then turning to see any adult she could punish. Someone will be doomed for this! She had that predetermined.
And as it were there stood one. And adult as it were yet not one she could scold. It was a girl in her mid twenties. Green flesh, jaw sagging and quite sickly looking indeed. Yet familiar. This caused Jill to take two steps back before going on, “Who are you?”
“Its me mommy, Renee.” Came the response. Yet it was followed by a green vomiting.
“Oh… My… God…” Jill could say no more. She grabbed her daughter by the arm and started out. Yet someone seized and pulled her backward.
When she turned to smash someone’s face in, she saw a uniformed police officer and about fainted. She was relieved for a moment. She had someone here who was about to help her, until she felt the cops hand on her ass. She pulled away and saw her daughter there watching it all.
From somewhere deep inside, Renee found it within herself to help her mother.. She knew better than to piss off Carlos, however this was her mother and she had to help. So she walked behind the cop and went for his gun.
The cop snatched Renee’s hand and flung her against the wall. All the girl had managed to do was unsnap the holster. And Jill, seeing this, made for the gun. And actually took possession of it. Snapping back the hammer on the .38, the cop stepped back, hands waving in surrender.
“Look at these girls!” Jill screamed to the cop. “Why aren’t you helping them?”
“you need to help yourself little lady.:” said the cop.
“I will fucking blow your head off if you don’t help these kids right now!” screamed Jill. She aimed the pistol at the cop’s head.
That’s when someone came bursting in the door and snatched Jill up like a rag doll. She did not drop the gun. In fact she aimed at her captor’s head and squeezed the trigger.

*As I stood there with the pain retuning to my leg and longing already for the feeling I’d gotten from the powder, I was traumatized. All of my willpower was gone.
Then I heard a gunshot. Then another. And the ‘Living Dead’ began to scatter. The traffic reared off and started another route,
Suddenly, this part of the trailer park was zoned off. I noticed at this time several unmarked police cruisers pulling in around me.

Monday

Today was tough. I mean really tough. I don't think we'll make it through the spring, I just have to have hope. I'm not lucky like a lot of you. I don't know. At least it's nice out.

I hate snow!